Getting married is just one of the many firsts a woman has to go through in life. And so, it only makes sense how the notion of being a wife could be intimidating to all girls. Here are tips for brides-to-be or girlfriends-just-turned-wives on how to embrace this new life chapter:

Don’t Force Yourself

The role does not necessarily sink in once you’re in your wedding dress and ready to marry the love of your life in front of the altar. Moreover, how one defines acing a wife role is relative. Factors like passed down traditions, generational differences, and love language that is unique to every couple are at play when a woman is in the process of making sense out of her role as her husband’s other half.

You can’t expect yourself to be a natural overnight. At times, you will have bouts of separation anxiety to the single version of yourself. In a way, you just lost a big part, if not your entire being, and that alone is already a lot to handle.

Going through this rather unpleasant phase is almost necessary. If you feel like crying out of grief for the past and anxiety for the future, then let it all out. Take it as a soul cleanse, and so you can proceed more level-headed as you gradually assume more and more responsibilities that encompass being a wife and all that is in between and beyond.

Building a Nurturing Home

Sometimes, just imagining pregnancy, juggling work and the kids, and catering to your in-laws may put you in a paralyzing rut of rumination. Before it gets the best of you, you have to at least push yourself to build a nurturing home for you and your partner for now, and soon for your kids too. It takes two to tango for a home to be nurturing, but your sole effort would make waves early on in you and your partner’s wedded life.

There are countless things, rather simple ones that you can put in a house that turns it into a genuine home. A living room may have the coziest sofa and the most integrated entertainment package but without that loving touch of that scented candle that reminds you both of how the place you dined in for your first date, for instance, it will just be another room that waits to be occupied. A hallway void of any memorabilia like pictures of your wedding or your first trip abroad is nothing special.

And so, as much as possible, make your home the place that allows you to keep your love burning. Every day, we have to tackle different problems but if we have a house we could confidently call our safe haven because it is where the most supportive people in your life live and it is where you can instantly lift your spirits, then problems would not be too much to bear. You have to remember that wherever life brings you and your family in the future, in other words, what triumphs and failures they encounter will always have to do with the home they were raised in.

What it Takes to Be a Woman

Society imposed upon women complicated roles that an average female can barely keep up. It got too much that, today, our view of being a housewife has been distorted into something inferior to being a female CEO. What’s crazier is a good sum of the population would agree otherwise.

The overwhelming need to impress everyone intensifies once you get married. When you start getting consumed by feelings of inferiority for not being capable, wifely, feminine, submissive, a diligent church-goer as society dictates you to be, try to think past through these sickening stereotypes. You can make your own brand of womanhood.

There is nothing more empowering than seeing the day we would no longer see housewives as mere housewives or women who chose their career over marriage as misfits. And so, the next time that shadow of insecurity creeps in, remind yourself that you are capable of creating your reality and you are worthy of praise and love. Moreover, you should not take marriage as a barrier but, rather, a gateway for your grander life goals.

You do not have to shoulder all the pressure that comes with transitioning into married life. You and your partner went into this lifelong commitment together, and, as big a change this is for both of you, he must be nervous as you, too. And so, the next time you feel like you are not as prepared as you thought when you said yes when he proposed, remember that you are not alone in being new to this thing.